Tuesday, December 6, 2016
The Feast of the Blessed Hose Bibb Cover
The Feast of the Blessed Hose Bibb Cover is ideally celebrated about 12 hours before the first day on which the temperature is expected to drop below freezing, but the timing can vary a bit.
The very worst time to celebrate the FBHBC is about ten o'clock at night, when one is tucked into bed, hears freezing rain hitting the bedroom window, and suddenly remembers that terribly important task one really meant to do right after work. In this case, the feast is celebrated by struggling into one's boots, overcoat, and hat, searching the potting shed by flashlight for the covers, which haven't been seen in eleven months, and then convincing the covers to hook onto the faucets and stay there.
Honestly though, the very best time to celebrate the Feast of the Blessed Hose Bibb Cover is never. Here in the Northwest winter doesn't always bring freezing weather. If we do have freezing weather, it's only for a couple of days.
Are the covers effective? I don't know. The hardware stores always sell them at this time of year, and my neighbors and I buy them and install them.
The most beautiful celebration of the FBHBC I ever saw had Christmas lights wrapped around the cover and bubble wrap wrapped around the lights - quite striking at dawn on a frosty morning.
And why are they called hose bibbs anyway?